Hidden Kiss

Last night was our second night camping out in the lounge on the super king mattress. We dragged out a single mattress from the boys’ room to put at the head of the big mattress, lit the fire, and negotiated sleeping arrangements. Sol had created a strange little ‘hut’ in the two foot space between […]

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in the studio

Sol, “I can’t believe some people have to lie about their age just to get a job.” He is crouched down making window art on a plastic folder. Me, “Where did you hear this?” Sol, “I’m not sure, I just think it’s weird that there are people who’d be sitting at home watching television but […]

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speaking in smiles

I want to confess something; after eleven years together, I still get shy and awkward around my husband.  It’s because I’m in love with him. And because I’ve never wanted to be best friends with someone as much as I want to be best friends with him. I sit on the floor of the kitchen, […]

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Troll Country

“Mommy, will you read this with me?” Zaviera pats the empty space on the couch and I don’t  pause, debate with myself, try to navigate the conflicting ‘shoulds’ or ‘need to’, because it is very clear what needs to be done and what I should do. I sit down on the couch with Zaviera and […]

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Sol versus Jesus

Sol arrived with his two long arms and two long legs moving as if they were at war. He arrived with words – so many of them. The words arrived tripping, pushing, and within seconds, piling into my studio. A heap of buzzing need; they need to tell me everything all at once. I took […]

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again and again

Where do I start? Do I start with shoving my hip against our king-sized bed in frustration? Piling clothes and blankets up like a growing mountain of all the things that don’t get put away unless I remain their diligent caretaker…the guardian of an endlessly multiplying array of things. The small and broken. The small […]

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sharks at low tide

The land has been drying up but it feels like I’m swelling. My flesh continues to expand, absorbing all of the heat, making me cranky about the clothes I can’t comfortably fit into, the hours that squeeze me as I sit in a classroom, trying to take in layers upon layers of assignments, guidance on […]

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more than

Sol is a tangle of arms and legs beneath layers of blankets. “I don’t understand why I feel this way,” he says to me. “I don’t understand why I have this feeling in my body about school. I always worry that I won’t be able to find you and daddy again.” I climb on to […]

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beloved

By five o’clock, I want to drink red wine and eat chorizo and laugh heartily with people who live on the other side of the planet. I want to panhandle on a street corner until I have enough money to fly myself and a surfboard to an island surrounded by warm waters, right hand waves, and where the […]

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